Achieving Happiness

Posted by Paige Oxlaj on Thursday, August 30, 2012 Under: self-development
For the past few days I have been blissfully happy. The quiet kind of happy that makes people look twice at you as you walk down the street. The kind of happy that gives you a glow. It would be easy to say that I've "glowed" because everything in my life is perfect and I'm walking down easy street - but that would be a lie. Life hasn't changed that much in the last few day, I still wake to the same challenges and still have the same annoying blurbs of yuck invade my days.

What has changed is me. I made a decision a few days ago, to embrace happiness. To declare that I alone control my feelings - and that no matter what came at me during the day I was going to stay positive, grateful and happy. This has led to a dynamic shift in my energy... and has forced me to examine my own behavior.

I discovered that happiness take commitment - much the same way, one commits to a new diet or exercise routine and it also requires mental and physical energy. But the rewards are so much greater than the energy it takes to stay happy.

Below are the steps I've taken to find and stay happy. I encourage you to try them for a few days and see where the experience takes you... You may be surprised how much certain behaviors caused you to feel yucky.

1. Reclaim your power... Assert that your energy is yours and do not allow anyone to take it from you. If people say nasty things to you or make comments that offend - simply remember that they are viewing the world through their lens. Any thing that anyone says or does is a reflection of their own belief system and where they are in their own journey. It has nothing to do with you.

2. Stay present... All that really exists is the seconds you are living right now. So rather than focusing on mistakes from the past or longings for the future focus on this second. Put all of you into making it the best second possible. When you find your mind wandering into the past or dreaming about the future, create a mantra or a repeated word or phrase to bring you back to the present. Mine is very simple. I say, "I love myself."

3. Change "have to" to "want to" ... The phrase "have to" implies that someone has power over you and is forcing you to do something you don't want to do. Think "I have to do the laundry, put the kids to bed, pay my taxes... etc." Replacing "have to" with "want to" creates an automatic energetic shift. It also allows you to see and address any resistance that you experience. For example, "I want to put my child to bed."  (What rises up is, this is going to be unpleasant. She's not going to want to go to bed... etc.) But now that I recognize the resistance I can change my behavior so that I actual enjoy the activity.

4. Slow Down... We have a culture that prides itself on being busy. We even compare how busy we are with other people and are proud of ourselves for out-busying others. What does being busy really accomplish other than creating a lot of health killing stress? Set small goals for yourself through out the day and build in rewards for accomplishing them. And then learn to say "no." Do what you want to do, not what you feel guilty about not doing. You'll find that not only you get more done, but that you do a better job and feel better about what you've accomplished.

5. Ask yourself am I doing this out of fear or love?  We react from one of two places one is a happy place (love) the other is a dark, yucky place (fear). Before you react ask yourself where is my reaction coming from. Am I saying this because I am resisting change (fear)? Am I doing this because it will make me happy (love)? The more decisions you make from a place of love the easier it is to stay in the realm of happiness.

In : self-development 

Tags: happiness  self-esteem  self-development  creating boundaries 
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Living Life of Adventure, One Breath at a Time

Paige Deiner My life is a wild carpet ride full of unique experiences and one of a kind adventures. I sometimes find myself holding onto the tassels, rather than sitting squarely in the middle of my "magic carpet" - but so far I haven't fallen off and I'm loving the ride. I am a Licensed Massage Therapist and a Yoga Alliance 200 yoga instructor. I have been a Reiki Master for 8 years, and have meditated since childhood. My daughter thinks I'm a hippie, I think I am a very organized dreamer. The truth may be somewhere in the middle. I would probably be a vegetarian but I fear mutiny... But I do try my best to practice what I preach. I yoga everyday and meditate nightly. I am lucky enough to have a fantastic Reiki partner so I receive some universal wisdom each Tuesday. And I am an avid, nerdy reader. I clean to books on tape, and usually read about two non-fiction and one fiction book a week.